Bad Bad person

At the moment, Lyana thinks she is the most horrible person there is ....!!

I did not want to be honest with that person, scared of hurting his feelings if i told him i dont like him so i told that person i will be gone for four whole months and i will lose contacts with that person & that person still hasnt gave up & sends me emails everyday saying he misses me &loves me dearly. I feel so bad.


What have i done ?! Arghhh im sorrry, i didnt mean to.......... arghhhh......!!! :[

Lyana Still loves him dearly.

Em vang con yeu anh, Anh tuan co biet khong? Ngay dem, em nho anh -- em se khung luon.

Em chia tay, I really dont want us to end this way. After all you and I are husband & wife.

I still think of you Love you so much. But thinking how you treated me poorly, i can not accept that kind of behaviour. I also have self-respect.

I gave you my heart & all, never once did anything wrong.

It is hard to walk away, somehow i will manage it .

But at the end of the day, Em yeu anh tuan truong

Ten commandments of appropate communication

1. Honour thy self and thy phone bill

2. If he doth not e-mail, thou shalt wait !

3. Thou shalt turneth off the phone from midnight unto six o'clock i'th' Morning.

4. Thou shalt not make wrongful use of thy precious vocal cords, honour the sounds of silence

5. Show steadfast faith in the Aphorism ' no news is good news ' and desist from panicking if thou hast not heard from him for forty hours, even though it may feel as it thou hast been banished for forty days and night

6. Thou shalt not worship false gods, this includes kneeling in front of thy telephone praying for it to ring

7. Thou shalt not become a bunny boiler, nor shalt thou send him more than four text messages a day.

8. Thou shalt solemnly promise thyself that thou will not e-mail thy boyfriend every time a new thought pops into thy head.

9. Thou shalt not imbibe of thy neighbours wine unto the practice of sending thy man five text messages in a row

10. Thou shalt not kill romance by being a contol freak.

Michael W.Smith - Lord I give you my heart

This is my desire
To honor You
Lord with all my heart
I worship You
All I have within me
I give You praise
All that I adore is in You

Lord, I give You my heart
I give You my soul
I live for You alone
Every Breath I take
Every moment I'm awake
Lord, have Your way in me

*Cough Cough

Lyana's Sick !! =(

Lately I've been Coughing & Coughing, Sneezing and Sneezing =/
However at the same time I am filled with happiness because of my Ong Xa <33>
Tuan Hoang Truong. Getting back with me makes me feel complete & He told me
he is ready to meet & Speak to my Mother = ) it brings me Joy !!

I Love him & On the 15 th Of April, it has been 2 months since ive been with him.
= O ... I'm soO excited to see in within the next Year or so = ]

At the moment I need to Obtain:

* Driver's Learner License

* A Job (I had a phone call today from DR. Thu Ba Offering a Job as a Dentist
Optometrist's Assistant )

* Im Getting into the habit of morning Jobs again - Getting fit, Hit the GYM

* I'm learning how to cook !! =]

* Between June & July -- Im taking up Golf & German =] hehehe ..!!



His mother - Mommy <33
My mother - Mummy <33

Im soO madly In love with My husband, I hope the best for him&I ... Our
Individual families -- His & Mine ... <33

At the end of the day, i hope the world is a better Place

Back Together <33

Guten Abend!

Goodevening bloggy, well actually its early morning - (Past 12.30am)!
i would like to tell you, im back with my husband, yay! NO MORE DIVORCE = )

I'm so glad we're back together only this time -- it's a little more mature because
him and I both have our own problems in life and we need to solve it our own ways. I'm
sooOo glad i have him <33


I miss you so much lately, hehehe = ( LOL !

I will be with him through every step of the way, I'm not going to leave him behind and
walk away, nah uh! As a baxa, it is a wife's duty to be there with her husband whenever
he is at his lowest point in life.Symbolically, im going to hold his hand every step of
the way. = ) I'm not going to leave him for silly various reasons.


He is what i want, he is someone i need .. Ong xa get better for em alrighty =]
baxa thuong anh nhieu lam. Phai take care of yourself, em isnt there yet but when i will be
there i will take care of you completely <33>

I cant say we're going to have the smoothest relationship, its going to be a hella bumpy
RIDE, Hold on tight darling. I'm with you all the way!

I'm not going to think of the future because its soOoo extremely FAR AWAY! I'm Now going
to Think Of the present =] ............. At the point in time, everysingle day, Texting,
Yahoo IM, Phone conversation is Important . . . <33>

Honey, ILoveYou!

I'm getting sleepy, i need to go to the restroom, are you coming honey?! LOL = ]

Somehow Noone Can be compared to you, trust me... i met heaps of people ~ both online & Life like-wise ..
but nah uh ~ my ongxa's above all -- maybe its because ive gotten soO comfortable and use to you...!

Well em di ngu -- eat breakfast .. I<33 truong ="]">

* Muahz *

* Waves *

Love, Baxa Lyana Nguyen.

Today's Blog!

Okay, maybe the last blog was also about him. But, GUESS what? he's my Husband, of course he needs to be involved in my daily activities!! =D


hmMm, not much to say about today!! Thinking of doing a nursing course, sounds good eh?
I do want to look after people, maybe it will help me with me temper =].

Today, he made me so happy, did you know that bloggylicious ahahahaah .. thats your new name, my Blog friend!!! =D until i come up with something more unique ahaahahah!
i felt so loved and he gave me attention today, honestly speaking i was planning to give up on him slowly but he managed to draw it back! ... ii..... cant ....leave ....him! *sigh*... is this life that i gotta live with? .... stuck with him?! JUST KIDDIN...

I waanna be STUCK with him thats for sure?... sO hows the wedding -plannning going, a friend asked? ahahahaha ... the guy actually fell for it.. what wedding? maybe when im dreaming i'll have an exotic crazy indian weeddding of my dreams, filled with dancing, colours, music, decoration as in body decoration!! im soO craazy with culturres.

But honestly speaking, all i want is a small wedding in turtle island or something -- all i need is families and heaps of children, filled with laughter thus creating a special moment with me! -- (im dreaming again, arent i? ) im still awake, maybe this is a new evolution of dreaming... we might never know whats going on..!

Sound too crazy just there! Ahahahaha! -- oh man i just choked on my hot chocolate arghhhh!! crap! d=

One more issue, this evening. I ask Mother to Look at my husband's photo "mother, do you think this man is handsome?' she said "yes"...
LOL

she then asked "where's he from?"

I said .. "i dont know" LOL

"America right? i know you too weell" AHAHAHAHAHA .. she does...aahahaha
then asked "can i talk to him?" oh man, that made me laugh like a ba dien!! i thought it was so HILARIOUS, wait until i tell my husband about this!! .. let's see how he reacts !!! Im loOking forward to it. O.O AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

nowadays i have that manly laughter, hmMm "AHAHAHAHAHA" oh wells.!!! d=

MAYBE I AM CRAZY, i can blog this much, it feels like im talking to myself..AHAHAHAHAHa

oh dear -- should i head to the mental's institution? hmM.. i wonder ahahaha.. NAH UH i'm not crazy, you blooody cow.. who's a cow?

WAIT....
hOld on a sec.....
I am the "BLOODY COW"!!

better jet soon ...

Love, Lyana!! <33 Tuan

Late Blog for yesterday 01.04.09

Oh My goodness! It's The first of April..! Im so happy, Im feeling closer to him XD

Anyways, this blog won't be so much ab0ut him so i shouldn't worry when i read this again, like anyone reads this boring blog. AHAHA (i do!! =/ .. )

Caught up with my girlfriend and i also met this awesome girl name Maria/Phu, we were at this Laos/ Thai restaurant for almost two hours, cracking up about this and that ahahaha. So loud. =D hMm... what did we talk about? hmMm.. now i cant remember, i should've blogged yesterday!! ahahaha...

Did a little shopping, well as you can see im not entirely interested in those but still, i looked around - i feel better shopping at my own pace!! =] we also met up for coffee with Mark -- oh man.. that guy, hes TOO sweet !! arghhh... it creeeps me when he calls me "em"... "em nho anh ko" ... i was like.. "uhmm... NoOOo.." .... too scary !! however its a nice bloke!!

We were at a coffee place, and they all took photographs of each other AHAHAHA... once again we were hella LOUD!! oh dear! o.O maria keeps saying whilst pointing "mickey come here, mickey this, mickey that" which makes him sound like a puppy dog.. AHAHAHA ... sucks, i know!! Hmmm.. i wouldnt wanna be called like that.. NAH UH, thats for sure!! =D

-------------------------------------------------------
Anyways, My lover & I .. hMmm.. we were cussing at each other as well -- he thought i was joking but i was being hella serious... i dont think he even got the point ..AHAHAHAHA
when i used my em kenny's username on VT ... telling him that i was being SERIOUS!! LOL... but dear god, i hope him and i wont ever break up. I dearly am madly truthfully in love with him, please let him be the one for me. i dont want another heartache! o.O Amen!

An addition to that, my father read the conversation too, ahahahaha so hilarious -- he didnt say anything =/ whats he thinking? hmMm.. not too sure... something bad i guess!!!

HONEY, you made a bad impression to your father-in-law .. ahahaha .. gOshie!! Em thuong anh!!

Dear Molly;

I do not know why I really wanted to blog this for you. I have never spoken to you before though I might have seen a Photograph of yourself. I honestly feel and know that you are one beautiful girl.

I hope you do stay in touch with Tuan, I do know he deeply cares & think about you. Please do reply to his text messages and Phone calls. I heard you are in a lot of pain, my girl -- You are a strong person! Im positive you have this inner strength inside you =] Do not say you don't want to live, life is precious.

As a stranger, I feel the pain and yet I do not know the pain. I do care about you. I know I am being nosy. I want to know:

how you are/ feeling/ any negative thoughts?
If your eating well.
Have you been to any checkups?

I have so many questions i would like to ask you but it would be stupid of me you might think i'm some fake arse, so i'm going to blog it here along with the rest of my emotions.

But at the end of day, I know tuan still do care a lot about miss molly.

Take care & Don't cry anymore.


love; Lyana Nguyen

Emotions & Emotions

The emotions inside me are building up & up, yet i do not know how to answer each and every one of them. I can't help but continue this path & not give up. In the past, i did wholeheartedly believe someone when he said that he would not give up on me and yet he did for his own benefit.

I am going to keep my head at eye-leveled and continue this path. I had two, i chose the one that this heart of mine pointed. I do not know the outcome. Even If i made the wrong choice, i can not go back and change but try to understand the situation - made a note and move on with a lesson learnt.

Even I, do not know what Love is. I am too young, too naive, too inexperienced to define "love". I say "Iloveyou" with my feelings involved, with the thoughts such as being worried for the other person, Miss the other person, the person is always on my mind etc. By the time i can properly define the word "love" i would be very old, very and extremely old & shall then, i may pass it on to younger generation my love story XD -- i am being serious!!

I know, If i put my heart into this - it will work! I am certain if i put my whole heart to it & never give up on tough times. This is all part of the life challenges that god/buddha gives me, every task i pass, he will allow me to open the new door, another path that will allow me to come closer "happiness", "self-respect", and eventually "love".

Besides not giving up on someone i am currently with and love. I do want to share this love to those who can not recieve it such as orphange, there is no such thing as "unconditional love" unless you love each and everyone in this world like that, it is impossible.

I wish this world would be a better place, I wish people would try to understand each other. I wish people would not suffer, suffering is too painful as a stranger looking from the outside, so it must be hard for someone who is suffering. I wish people do not take another person so lightly because opportunities are scarce, once its gone it is gone. We can not go back and change, we may regret and live in the past for a very long long time.

I learnt to cherish & be grateful who i am with, maybe another person may not be so good to me. I'm giving my best shot. I do appreciate his presence, his giggles & smiles. He looks adorable in everyway, even when he sounds grumpy at me -- my heart still lights up for him.

I love tuan hoang truong ( - phung ) -- XD my surname too!

German!! <33

Lyana: Guten Tag, Herr Tuan!

Tuan : Guten Tag, Frau Lyana! Freut mich!

Wie gehts es Ihnen?

Lyana : Ser gut, danke. Und wie gehts es Ihnen, Herr Tuan?

Tuan : Danke, mir geht es gut.

Ohne dich kann ich nicht leben.
Lyana : Ja. Ich liebe dich.


<33>
"Dass Liebe, die aus Trümmern auferstand,

Reicher als einst an Größe ist und Kraft!"

(And ruin'd love, when it is built anew,

Grows fairer than at first, more strong, far greater) . - Shakespeare


<33>

Darling, I have a Geman Poem I want to dedicate to you. ( dont worry it's translated!)


Nähe des Geliebten Nearness of the beloved one.

Ich denke dein, wenn mir der Sonne schimmer	I think of you, when I see the sun's shimmer
Vom Meere strahlt;	Gleaming from the sea.
Ich denke dein, wenn sich des Mondes Flimmer	I think of you, when the moon's glimmer
In Quellen malt.	Is reflected in the springs.

Ich sehe dich, wenn auf dem fernen Wege	I see you, when on the distant road
Der Staub sich hebt,	The dust rises,
In tiefer Nacht, wenn auf dem schmalen Stege	In deep night, when on the narrow bridge
Der Wandrer bebt.	The traveler trembles.
Ich höre dich, wenn dort mit dumpfem Rauschen	I hear you, when with a dull roar
Die Welle steigt.	The wave surges.
Im stillen Haine geh' ich oft zu lauschen,	In the quiet grove I often go to listen
Wenn alles schweigt.	When all is silent.

Ich bin bei dir, du seist auch noch so ferne,	I am with you, however far away you may be,
Du bist mir nah!	You are next to me!
Die Sonne sinkt, bald leuchten mir die Sterne.	The sun is setting, soon the stars will shine upon me.
O wärst du da!	If only you were here!

written by: Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The notes from the universe

-- THE PERFECTION

Of your every "issue" is beyond your comprehension. Don't be fooled. You've made no mistakes. The territory behind you and the challenges at hand were precisely crafted to deliver the wisdom and insights that will make possible the life of your dreams.

get through what you must get through today, understand what troubles you, do what you can, and all the rest will be made easy?

so little can yield so much. A new perspective, an admission, a surrender to truth - however painful - changed everything.



-- WHEN IT COMES TO OTHERS,
rather than wishing they were somehow different, it's better to give thanks that they werent, they wouldnt even be in your life right now.

-- EVER STOP TO REALISE
that its impossible to feel the true unconditional love for any single person, until you can feel it for every single person? After all, what differentiates them, except conditions? Of course, it doesnt hurt to try, YES, even the clods.

-- DO YOU KNOW WHAT
you've been doing your entire life?

No, besides getting better

No, besides getting wiser

Noooo, besides getting older

My, your talkative today.

You've been touching, teaching and healing friends and total strangers every step of the way.

Lay on thy hands. The universe.

And everywhere you went the flower gently swayed


--- THE EVOLUTION OF A DREAM

Dream is implanted into brain

Dreamer becomes thrilled

Dreamer becomes terrified.

If no actions is taken, terrifying thoughts grow into flesh-eating monsters. Dream is considered unrealistic. If action is taken, terrifying thoughts are revealed to be paper tigers. Confidence soars, Miracles unfold, and dreamer begins to saunter.

Either way, nothing remains the same.

ACT! The difference it will make in your life is more than can be comprehended. But, of course, this is also true of inaction.

<33

Nguoi do lam em qua se me,
Nguoi do lam em gian, em khong biet lam gi. Em chi khoc duoc thoi .
Mot nguoi tranh cai suot ngay, nguoi kia noi cau chuyen day khong con hieu lam.


nguoi em yeu la Tuan hoang truong.

i have emancipated

Pathways in life, we do not know which one to chose for all are unpredictable.
yet choices we make affects us deeply and differently. Some may turn into
a terrible experience that we as human beings might regret. Remember experiences
is lessons in life we all will eventually learn, so never look back and regret for what you did not achieve but rather appreciate and move on to become a better person.

We all can not turn back on the things we did wrong nor want to achieve. Experiences provide us a bigger picture on what we want in life and do not want in life. Through these, every individual is entirely different. we may say "we so similar" and yet "we so different".

Every hope and dreams clinging on me me, steadily peeling off. was it the experiences that cause me to become like this? I no longer dream of a shelter filled with laughter and children all around like i once did. Nor a husband to guide me through life, be with me at all times. Slowly i seem to realise every thing that once so important to me, a determine to achieve it at all cost, is becoming the once complete puzzle however now, these puzzles are missing, disappeared. I no longer care.
I no longer care about the future i want to have, the future i desired. i only longer for those in need to remain smiling & strong. i now long to share their pains in order to heal mine. stitching cannot completely cure this heart. i once believed the person who now i constantly shed tears that that person will not hurt me. orphanage is something that i want to be apart with, their guider & put heart to them, give them all the emotions and feeling that i can not achieve " love".